I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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