In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
