either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Randomize
