Don't you send me to vm
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
