So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
