i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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