Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
