Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
