you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
