wat bout pragnant strippers??
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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