at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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