Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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