So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
