too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
