go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
