OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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