hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize