How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
