Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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