got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
