i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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