Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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