Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize