mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
