Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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