I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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