chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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