I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
