yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
