Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
