moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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