i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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