It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
