I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
