We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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