I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
