First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
