One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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