and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
