Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
