Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
