Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
