I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
