I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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