I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw