so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
25 Facts Men Donâ€™t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother