i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.