i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
