I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
