Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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