I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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