man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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