It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
