She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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