And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
