is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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